so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
