Nicole vs. Life
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
