Me. At least after what I've been through.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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