I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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