Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
