ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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