I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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