i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
