I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
