I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
God, I missed his penis.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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