If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
