just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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