i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
