we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
