Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
