Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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