would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
