Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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