and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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