I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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