Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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