I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
