I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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