I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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