So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I will be naked everywhere
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
