i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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