He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
