His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
