Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Less talking, more tequila
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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