So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize