What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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