omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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