I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
