hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
FUCK WHALES
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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