The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
