I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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