he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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