Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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