I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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