Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
