That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize