And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How's work?
Spinning.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
