It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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