"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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