Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
