her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
