what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Your dad touched me again.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
