Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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