I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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