I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize