That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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