at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
