Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
as a side note pls kill me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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