well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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