We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
