i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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