Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
