Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
