She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
