Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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