is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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