I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
