I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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